Want You to Want Me (T-Minus 213 Days)

I have written so many blogs in my head the last couple weeks, it somehow escaped me that I never actually typed and posted them. Here’s a quick update on that job I was pondering the last time I wrote:

It seems the company’s convictions were about as strong as mine. They went back and forth with promises until ultimately, I got two automatically-generated emails from the HR department basically telling me thanks, but no thanks. It turns out I wasn’t supposed to get those emails and I was supposed to be told by phone they had decided to hire someone else, someone who was desperate enough for the job to take it for $15,000 less than I even would have considered.

In retrospect, I am glad they never made an official offer and put me in a position to have to turn it down because it was an intriguing job. At the time, however, I was hurt and kind of felt like I had been dumped.

Awhile back I mentioned going out on a lame date in an attempt to get over Sparks. I didn’t elaborate on it because it left me with a similar feeling of feeling hurt and dumped, even though I had little interest in the alternative. I met this guy at an all-you-can drink fundraiser for cancer research (a no-fail recipe for good stories) and I admired his use of a wingman to open conversation and then facilitate the meeting. He seemed interesting enough, so I gave him my number at the end of the night and agreed to a date when he called the next day.

It ended up being a perfectly innocuous evening between two new acquaintances. We had the default discussion of backgrounds, college majors and number of siblings, but the whole thing felt like an obligation and did not have any of that … zest … when you meet someone who you genuinely want to know everything about.

Even though I wasn’t really feeling anything, I agreed to a second date because he seemed all about it and I figured maybe round two would loosen us up a little more. Well round two never happened because he never called, and I was bitter I wasn’t the one who got to make that decision.

I realize it sounds selfish, but I wanted to be wanted and to be the one who got to say no. And it was the same thing with this job. They played it up like I was the first and only choice and said they would do everything to find the money for the right person, but after the first interview, they just never called.

And I was once again left rocking out to Cheap Trick in my head.